I'm walking away from $1600 that an unethical landlady stole from me and my partner when we moved out 3 days after moving in. She gave me a check that bounced for the deposit and is now unresponsive. Long story short, it was a farm stay, very dirty and she is crazy.
But that's not the point of this post.
The point is I've gone back and forth trying to decide whether or not to go after the money, and today I let it go.
It would take time and focus away from so many things that are going well right now. Every time I turn to that topic it makes me feel bad. "We get more of what we focus on" keeps running through my head.
I had a great chat last night with a very generous, experienced friend who reminded me of Darren Hardy's story of walking away from a bit more than $1600 - lol add a zero or two - in a business deal. It wasn't working for him, he wanted reality to be different, wanted his partner to behave differently, then he finally realized it was his fault, not his business partner's fault. His partner had been acting consistently all along, Darren ignored the reality because he wanted a different outcome and he thought he could make it happen.
LIGHT BULB moment, exactly what I needed to hear - it IS my fault, I paid her in cash, I was desperate for it to be a good situation so I ignored some obvious red flags, like an overwhelming smell of cat urine that didn't go away after cleaning the litter box for 6 inside cats - I could go on but the whole thing makes me feel stupid so I want it to be her fault.
The AMAZING news is, it works in the reverse. We get more of what we focus on! All year I have been focusing on growing my network, on finding the right vehicle to launch the impact I would like to make in the world by magnifying the dreams of others - and look what is happening. My network is expanding with some amazing new contacts. ClearCEO is up and toddling around on sturdy, dimply baby legs, sometimes unsteady, but fearless, persistent and every day finding her balance to win the races to come.
Losing that money hurts right now, sure. The pattern I see, at this amazing time of life, is that every time I compromise on my true intuition, and tell myself I can make it work, things start to get messy, balled up and unpleasant. The issue with the farmer? Simply the final end to a string of compromises I made against my better judgement because I was afraid of the alternative.
Will I continue to make this mistake? Yes, although I'm getting much better at letting go sooner.
Compromise is what makes true relationships possible. I'm still thinking about how this works for women. Generally speaking, we are good at relating, we have strong intuition, and often we accommodate too much.
What is the balance? When we don't always insist on our own way, even if we know better, we are learning alongside our partners, friends, family. Sometimes their compromise gives us the room to learn, sometimes its the other way around.
And sometimes it ends in a big mess. But that doesn't mean it wasn't a valuable growing experience.
I ask myself, who do I want to be in this moment? Who do I need to be to achieve my heart's desire of being a channel for the creative growth of other women on a massive scale?
Does that sound like a woman who spends precious time and energy fighting over $1600?
The answer is I want and need and AM a woman deeply committed to growing this amazing positive new business, not spending time in the muck on a negative time-suck.
Its 6:20 a.m., I've been up since 5:30. I know you are out there putting in the time too. I'm tired but I'm here, dogs are snoozing and the coffee is kicking in.
Now go out there and tame the big dragons, the ones sitting on the real treasure.
The small demons who take a chunk out once in awhile? Observe them and let it go. Move on. That place is not your playground.
Big Love <3
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